Una Dia Buena

I{ll keep this one short since its 1230 and I am using a spanish keyboard that is challenging. I just finished the last Harry Potter book, and I am still awake for some reason. Today was awesome! We got a lot of work done, and we really got to be an encouragement to Matt, who is a missionary that we are spending a lot of time with. Keep him and his family in your prayers, as his father had an unsuccessful surgery for colon cancer and his wife is due with a baby in about a week. He is a great man of God and we have been mutually encouraged by each other.

You know what I learned today that is interesting...we all carry loads. I felt so relieved to be down here and not carrying an emotional load with everything going on in my life, but when I got down here, I realized that most of these people have huge loads here. How do we truly learn to cast these loads upon Christ, because we cannot run from them, we can only do one of two things: bear carry them or let somebody else carry them. Pray that I would learn to hand them over, and I will pray the same for you. I am going to bed.

Adios!

Well, we're sitting here packing for Costa Rica, where we'll be heading tomorrow morning for 9 days. I can't tell you how excited we truly are for this! These days have been challenging ones, as many of you know. Finding my place in God plan, in my church and in life has been quite a trip right now. I'm proud to tell you guys that I've got nothing figured out. I don't know what God wants me to do at my church or with my life or anything really. For once, I'm really quite okay with an immense amount of uncertainty!

I'm excited to go spend time with missionaries and see what God is doing in a different culture. It's rare that I look around in my church and feel like God is at work there. Does that sound terrible? I am ashamed to admit that I'm a part of the problem. I'm so unsure how to help lead people out of spiritual apathy and into a passionate relationship with God. It's all I can do to keep myself from falling into it, let alone try to pull others out. However, I know that God is more than sufficient.

Okay, so I'll rant for a few minutes here...it's quite incredible that after my wife and I finished reading our Bibles, we had extremely similar things to share with on another afterward (as a note, I wish I could claim that we sit down to read our Bibles together regularly, but it's unfortunately rather rare that this happens). She was reading in Leviticus and I was reading in 1 Peter, and we had similar thoughts. I'll share my own. Peter writes and just assumes that so many things are true about his readers simply because they are Christians. He assumes that they have put aside so many sinful and useless practices and that they are filled with an "inexpressible and glorious joy." Wow, when's the last time I could say I was filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy? What am I missing? Why is it that I am rather filled with...stuff to do? I am hoping that this trip to Costa Rica will be one that will help me remember that inexpressible and glorious joy that we should be filled with due to the grace that has been shown us! For the 3 of you that read this (I'm going to do this more frequently now, I promise), please be in prayer for Katie and I as we are away. Have a great week!

Dios es tan bueno!!

Sometimes, I think I've got things kinda rough. I struggle with ministry and with my chruch and some frustrations, but then I have some major wake-up calls to remind me that God has spared me many things in His amazing grace. As some of you know, I'm in a group counseling class this week. We spend time talking about all kinds of issues in our lives, while we are actually getting group counseling (which is phenomenal and I think everyone should at least try their hand at it once). I saw that not one other guy in my class had a good relationship with their father. There was a girl who had been molested, raped, and otherwise mistreated, a girl whose family was in shambles, and other people with various struggles. I found myself feeling almost guilty for not experiencing the same kind of pain that they had. I felt guilty that God had spared me so much. But wait a minute, GUILT SUCKS! It usually involves in some way not humbly accepting what God has given you, whether it be forgiveness (this is a big one), a good family, the means to live relatively comfortably, take your pick.

How about ourselves. Do we thank God for making us the people we are? I listened to Greg Speck speak at Moody and he was talking about self-esteem and our relationship with God. He challenged us to go home, look in the mirror, and thank God for making us the person that we are! That was an intense thought. We spend so much time complaining about the way we are, or just asking God to change it (which, don't get me wrong, definitely has its place), but how often do we thank God for making us the people we are? I know that I don't do it enough, though I have several times since I listened to Greg, and it's incredible. The gift of our lives, the one that is often not remembered. So DO IT!

I walked out of class, and after talking with some friends I called my dad to thank him for being there for me, and for being a good dad. I love my dad and have a great relationship with him, and that's something to be thankful for. Here's my second didactic statement in one blog, if you have a good relationship with your parents, call and thank them for it. I'm guessing that with how often this relationship gets screwed up, it must be hard to even pull of relatively right. This is starting to sound like a sermon.

On that note, I'll quit before I come up with a third command for you all (well, I think maybe 2 or 3 people read this). Enjoy your day, your God, and your life!

An interesting meeting

Well, this Thursday night was one interesting meeting at West Hills. 30 of our members had filled out a survey to assess where our church is at on 8 different characteristics of Natural Church Development. An outsider came to give us the results and discuss what they showed. He started out by saying "This is really hard. I've never had to do a meeting like this." What he meant was, he'd never seen a church score so low across the boards. He said if your church average was 35 out of 100, he recommends closing down the church and doing a replant. Our average score was 28.5 . This came as no great surprise to me. Actually it, somewhat did, because I didn't know that the member of our church actually did realize the state of things.

Some people were relieved, some surprised, and some were crushed. I was...there. I'm not sure what I was. About a million thoughts went through my mind. Are we going under? Should we? Is our church doing any good for the kingdom by keeping their doors open? Am I doing any good by keeping people at this church?

What's the problem? Well, leave it to me to be reductionistic, but it seems like nobody cares. Nobody cares about the right thing at least. We care that there is plenty of food, hot dogs, and crap after the service, but fail to convey the truths of God's Word. We look out for ourselves, but aren't affecting the community one ounce. There's no sense of what the church is supposed to be, no passion for God (at least anything that's producing noticeable fruit), and nobody who's willing to lead others toward becoming God's chosen instrument to reach the world. So what's my place in all of this?

I don't trust God...

I almost choked and fell off of my chair as I heard those words in a class of mine at Trinity. I felt really uncomfortable for a few minutes as I listened to others who shared the same sentiments. I felt as though I needed to defend God and His character. Then I remembered that He's pretty good at doing that on His own. As I listened to the pain of others, I found myself feeling a bit guilty, because I've never even been close to the kind of pain that they are going through. My mind was going nuts as I experienced about a billion emotions at once.

So where did I end up? Grateful to God for His grace for one. I finally came to the realization that maybe many Christians don't trust God. What don't they trust? They don't trust that He'll keep them safe, that He'll protect them from pain and give them a life that at least seems to have some measure of happiness. And you know what? They shouldn't! I think that we should have absolute faith that God will do everything He has promised, but we need to make sure we know what God has promised and what He hasn't. When people confuse this, they see God as untrustworthy and unreliable. Would you trust me if I didn't give you a million dollars? Of course you would, because I would never promise to do that. However, if I fell short on all of my promises, of course you wouldn't trust me!

So what has God promised? I heard people saying "I know God has a plan for me and this is part of it." Time out. Where are you pulling that from? Does God ordain every detail of our lives? I really don't think so, however, I would be open to anyone's comments on this matter. I think God has a plan to redeem the world through His son, and we can count on that. I think that if we continue to seek God and keep Him at the forefront of our lives, that He will work all things together for our good (Romans 8), but maybe that's just in the form of trials that will develop our character. Does God cause everything bad that happens in this world because it's part of His plan? I think not. Does He use it to refine us? Absolutely! However, I'm interested to hear what you all think...

Slitting my throat is all I ever had...

Yeah, that was my reaction too. I enjoy the sound of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and have rocked out to them several times in my van with youth group kids, particularly the song "Otherside." I sang along to the parts I knew, which were only a few. Upon listening to it again and looking up the lyrics, I was able to surmise that the lead singer was either talking about suicide or a drug addiction, two solid things to be singing about with your youth group kids, Pastor Genius.

Don't worry if you think I'm too hard on myself, I'm really not. However, we have to think. I have kids in my youth group who I guarantee have considered suicide, and here I am sitting
and singing along joyfully with them. No wonder our kids are depressed, they live off of this stuff and identify with it. A lesson well learned today that I need to THINK a bit more often about what the heck I am doing. Do you?

I'm tired...

So, my dad was here this weekend, which was awesome! We played lots of golf (I got a lot better in 4 days, even beat my dad this morning), ate food, hung out with friends, went riding, and of course had lots of fun! That's why I'm tired. It's hard when you only see people occasionally, because you try to spend as much time as possible with them, and then you come away from it trashed.

Now my dad is gone, Katie's in MN to work for her dad, and I'm all alone. Maybe this is a good thing though, since I have a bigillion pages of reading to do before I start summer school on June 4th. Don't worry, I'm 10 pages in. Solid.

So as I sat in staff meeting this morning, we talked about sharing our faith. It was interesting to me that an elder in our church and a few ministry leaders found it really hard to share their faith, even with another believer. Are we doing something wrong here as a church? I went on a small tirade about how the controlling message of our lives should be something that we can explain at the drop of a hat. Why is it so hard? Do people really know what they believe in or why they believe it. I started getting visions of trying to teach some kind of a basic theology class at our church (after all, what's one more thing on the plate), making sure people really know what they believe. I have a problem with the 3 minute four step gospel presentation. I don't think it really does much in our present day society. I think we have an obligation to help people really understand what they are getting into; what kind of a God they are putting their "faith" in and what it means to put your faith in Christ. I don't think we should try to push somebody through to pray a prayer that they don't really understand or believe. How many of those types of conversion experiences are effective. Anyways, just some food for thought.

Continued Craziness

Is it really possible to keep up with one of these? Things change so fast I feel like I need to write a book every time I get on here! Katie got accepted into UIC for nursing, which was a huge answer to prayer! She was on the waiting list and wasn't sure if she was going to get in. This means a much shorter commute for her, less time in school, and she doesn't have to take summer school this year. All around, it's just awesome!

As for me, I'm always reassessing life and ministry. We are currently trying to recruit some new leaders for our youth group so that we can connect with students on a more consistent and meaningful level. It's such a challenge. We really are in a battle for the souls of young people, and there seem to be so many forces against us. It's great to know that it says "if God is for us, who can be against us!" But since you asked, culture is against us, the entertainment industry, school systems, human nature, and those darn cicadas (we'll have those in less than a week if the scientists are correct). I guess the point of that is that nobody can actually compare with the power of God, who is on our side, but it's just rough sometimes.

My dad's in town for the weekend, so I'm pretty pumped about that! There'll be plenty of motorcycle riding, golfing, chillin, and probably some monopoly too (I beat Katie for the first time ever last weekend, so she wants to play and school me once again to regain her dominion). Not much meaning to this blog, just updating you!

Yes, I am awesome...

Well, it seems as though I'm as good at remembering to blog as I am remembering to do just about anything else. I'm one of those people who will put something in front of the door so I remember to take it to work, then I will move it to open the door and leave it on the floor. Anyways, a lot has gone on since we last blogged. Currently, we are struggling through some decisions.

Katie was accepted to Northern Illinois University's nursing program. However, this was her second choice as it will take 6 months longer to complete and will also require summer school classes this summer. She is on the waiting list at UIC, her first choice, so that is what we are doing: waiting. Waiting is hard. It's frustrating, requires patience, and trust in God. It's easier to trust when everything is going your way.

As for me, well, I'm waiting too...to get started on my big paper that's due in 10 days. My waiting is maybe a little bit less responsible. We are working through some changes, as always, in our youth ministry. I love change, so it's exciting for me.

Then there is that dang motorcycle in my garage, another example of me overestimating my abilities. I bought a bike last year that was a "great deal." Right. I just finished replacing the head gasket on ym own, and in the process, I have managed to screw up something else, so now I'm frustrated with a busted up motorcycle in my garage that irritates me every time I go down there, but I don't have the time to put into it right now. Oh well, we'll see what happens with that.

Well, I'm off to go to work, where I will struggle to manage my time well and use it for God's glory. Hope you all have a great day, but I wonder how long it will be before anyone reads this, since it's been forever since I've posted. Maybe I'll send an email...

Come to Guatemala, all you who are weary and burdened...

Dirt bikes down rocky roads, skyscrapper volcanoes, black sand beaches, and seventy-degree weather. That's all about four hours away! We're heading off to in Guatemala for our "make-up" honeymoon. Currently we're chilling in some execuative lounge in the Dallas, TX airport. We just got off our Chicago flight where we sat first class, feasted on deep-dish pizza, and ate hot chocolate-chip cookies. Can you hear the excitment in my words? These next days are going to blow us away. I just know it.

These past few weeks have been so hard and draining. Life is overwhelming. I (Katie) have been bombarded with homework and studying, I can barely find the time to throw a salad together for dinner, and our youth group is screaming out in hurt and want. This last part being the hardest. It is heart-wrenching to watch people ignore their Savior and dabble in evil things.

I almost feel defeated right now and am praying that these coming days would be a refresher for our souls. I have been reading through the Gospel of John and just recently read through chapter 14. Over and over again Jesus tells His disciples that "If you love Me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15). What a simple and powerful truth! Our love is shown through our obedience to God. Jesus Himself gives the world an example of this as He proves His love for God the Father by doing "exactly as the Father commanded Him" (John 14:31), by dying on the cross.

Regardless of what comes our way, His truth remains unchanged. We cannot keep making up excuses. If we do not obey Him, we are showing we do not love Him. Plain and simple.

School Update

Well, I have decided to apply to Trinity Evangelical Divinity School for their counseling program, and last week I decided that I would get started in JANUARY! That's going to be nuts. The application is in, but tomorrow I have to to the Miller Analogies Test, and I'm not too excited about that! I've been doing some studying and pratice tests, and I've got my average up for about 60%. That's failing where I come from, so I'm a little nervous. Hopefully they'll still let me in. I got to remember a bit of what college was like last night as I stayed up studying until I fell asleep sitting at the table. There'll probably be another one of those tonight! Anyways, I'm really excited to get started. Last night I had a conversation with one of my youth group kids in which I once again felt powerless, and it reminded me of why I really want to do this (it's not just to go broke and to have homework again)!

Katie is currently working on which nursing school to apply to. We've got some options, but we're really praying that plan A (UIC) works out, because it would be the cheapest and the easiest. She should get in, since she's pretty much amazing and she's rocking all of her pre-reqs, but UIC is a very selective and competetive program. You can pray for us that this will work out, because otherwise, it's going to require more pre-requisite courses and possibly a delay in the whole process.

Marathons are for lunatics...

It's been 8 days since I ran the marathon now, and I'm still feeling the effects. This is what happens when you marry into a running family, and I even dragged my Uncle Dave and Aunt Brenda down with me! What a rough road this whole marathon training was. I signed up Katie and me for the marathon back in March and I gave it to Katie in April as her college graduation present. Shortly afterward, I was in the hopstial having 18 inches of my intestines removed. That slowed down the whole training process for a few months. This summer we put in some good miles, but about 2 months before the race, Katie started having some IT band problems (a muscle in your knee). She cleared up and was able to start running 2 weeks before the marathon, at which point I inherited her injury! So I didn't run for 2 week before the race and we decided to give it a shot.

The weather was perfect for us, I have no complaints there. However, by mile 9, both of us had some killer pain from our IT bands, and we were miserable. We decided that we were going to finish this race. Katie and I had to drag each other along (she dragged me more than I dragged her), and we finished in 4:38. Wow were we in some major pain. However, it was a great picture of our lives. It shows that we can push through just about anything together! It was a great experience for us to have together, and we will always remember it!

Katie is already talking about running it next year. As for me, I'm done.

I've Been Thinking...

So I'm preaching this Sunday at my church, and I'm not quite sure how it's going to go yet. I'm really fired up about what I have to say, which is often very dangerous. Katie tells me I usually scare the kids, so maybe I'll tone it down a bit.

You see, I've really been challenged lately by Jesus' call for us to go and make disciples. I feel like we're dropping the ball so huge here, and I feel like God wants me to shout the wake-up call, so I'm going to do it. How do you change the way people think? How do you get them to care about a call from Christ that should dictate and overwhelm their whole lives? Well, that's what's on my mind. Also, I am equally guilty of not living up to this task, so I'm working on it. Pray for Laura. I ref with her, and she is very lost and confused right now. She's captivated by culture and by the lies of Satan, as so many people are, and we're working on her.

And finally, I'll challenge you...start bringing up Christ in your conversations with people. It's both your privilege and your responsibility. If He has changed your life, then be different and live the life He has called you to! Have a great day!

Big Decisions

We had an awesome weekend going to Minnesota for Katie's cousin's wedding! It was great to see the fam again, get to hang out with the cousins (Bill and the ladies, it was a blast!), and get to know some of them much better. There was plenty of dancing, which is always scary with me on the floor, but they didn't seem to mind too much. We rode our motorcycles up there, that's right, Katie rode her own bike almost 700 miles this weekend, and she did a great job!

So, here's the major development: I (Billy) am going back to school! I always thought I would eventually go back to school, but I wasn't sure when. Luckily, our interim pastor told me last week "What are you waiting for? You think you're busy? You will never be less busy!" Well, this got me thinking, and researching, and I decided to go back to school. I am hoping to attend Wheaton and get a Masters in Counseling Ministries. I've always had a desire to learn about counseling, so here I go! I will begin my pre-requisites in January and then my graduate program in the fall, which will take me 3 years (because I'm still going to work full time). I'm really excited to do this, but it will be taxing in many ways, such as time, finances and stress, so please be praying for Katie and I as we enter a crazy new phase of life. Thanks so much for your interest in our lives!

So we're new at this...

Hey Everybody! So Katie and I have talked about sending out update letters to let everyone know how we're doing, but that's just so 20th century, so we're going to start a blog. Seriously, we'd like to keep you all involved in our lives and we'd like you to keep us in your prayers, so we're going to use this to keep you updated on our lives. We'll try to post a blog once a week or so.