Tormented

Yesterday morning I was reading through 2 Peter 2 and I came across this:
"If he condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes and made them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly, and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men (for that righteous man, living among them day after day was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard)..."

Lot lived in these cities of Sodom and Gomorrah (probably not an intelligent move in the first place), and they were cities that were full of all kinds of sexual immorality and perversion (good thing we don't have any cities like that, eh?). Peter says here that Lot was distressed and tormented in his righteous soul just because he saw the sin taking place around him and knew what an offense it was to God. I had to ask myself, how tormented is my soul by the lawless deeds I see and hear every day in this culture? I fear that we as Christians have become very desensitized to sin just because we are around it so much, but I would encourage you (and myself) to always remember what an offense to the character of God OUR sins and the sins of other are, and may we never be okay with sin.

Needy Lands

American soil, here we stand. I spent an extra seven days in Costa Rica and just returned Wednesday night. Within moments I was greeting by a pile of books to read, a play to act in, and a trip home, to MN. Not to mention I start classes in just over a week. I feel the stress mounting and my heart beating faster. I don't like it, but I am trapped by the mounds of things imposing upon me. For instance, I was planning on staying as far away from the stage as possible as our church prepared to put on a five day production. However, before I knew what was happening they were calling my name to be one of the main woman characters in the play! Ugh. Or yeah. Or I'm really not sure what to think. I'm don't know what I even think about the play in general + now I'm going to be up and center. I will give it all I've got because I know a lot of prayer and time has been put into it + for that I am grateful, but I just wish I would have fained missing last night + hit my books instead.

My time in Costa Rica was refreshing + difficult. We met so many people who view our Creator as nothing more than a fairytale. I wanted so badly for their hearts and minds to be open to God! I shared what feeble words I could + tried to live in the freedom God has given me, but I felt so inadequate to show them truth. I always feel so inadequate + being in another place sure doesn't change that.

"Oh Lord, that you would use Billy + I to truly make yourself known. Please direct our thoughts and actions these coming months; that You would be the only One we live for. We love you Lord."

Young man, you need an attitude adjustment!

So maybe I do. Alright, forget the maybe, I realized this week that I need a major attitude adjustment. You know how sometimes when you think about something negative, you just keep adding to it and it gets worse, even though nothing is actually happening to make it worse? I have been creating some of my own misery in my mind, and there's really just no reason for it. Therefore, I have decided that it is time for me to pull my head out of my butt, quit being so negative, and focus on the life and ministry that I have in front of me now. It's great when you look at things and realize they're nowhere near as bad as you think they are! We really are a bunch of whining and ungrateful humans. At least I am, but the beauty is that God works with us as we grow and it patient with our mistakes.

Back in the USA

"Isn't it so great to be back in the states? Doesn't it just make you thanks God for all of the things you have?" This is a question I was asked today by a lady at my church. I felt obliged to answer honestly, so I said, "No, not really." Am I thankful that God has blessed me so that I am able to live the life I do? Yes. However, I'm not relieved to be back to this insane culture and way of life. The level of comfort that we have here leads us into a lifstyle of self-sufficiency, which is absolutely no good for us. I don't depend on God for much here, at least I don't do so consciously. Those kids that I worked with in Costa Rica, and people who I have met in other countries realize their riches in Christ and depend on Him for their worldly survival. I am reminded of Matthew 6 when I think about this. Most people's primary concern is to provide for themselves and their family, but God says our primary concern should be His Kingdom, and that when we make this our primary concern, He will take care of the rest. He makes the lilies of the field beautiful and feeds birds, so what do we have to worry about. Truth be told, it's hard for me to be back here and to be forced to take a look at myself and my lifestyle. I want to depend on God. I want to learn what it means to hunger and thirst for God and His presence, to be aware of my utter dependence on him, and I want to learn what it is like to wrestle with God in prayer! Keep me in your own prayers.

Laughter is a medicine for the soul...

Today, our last day in Costa Rica was spent at place called Roblealto, which means high rock. Their goal is to help families at risk and in shambles due to poverty, abuse, or other factors. They have many aspect of their ministry but today we worked with their daycare. The kids ranged from 2 years old to 12. Upon arriving there we learned that another small group was there to put on a carnival for the kids today. Now this carnival was by our standards very lame, but these kids just loved it! The team had prayed that morning that God would send them three people to help with the day, and alas, when they walked through the door, there stood Pete, David and I, who the women (the whole other group was women) referred to ask God`s answer to their prayers.
However, the children were the answer to my prayers. I really just was asking and hoping to be boosted and lifted up as I left this country to face all that I left behind. Today as I played with the students, I experienced such great joy that I cannot describe it. As I pushed these cute little girls on the swing and watched them laugh with pure bliss, nothing else in the world existed outside the walls of that courtyard, and the cares of this world could not touch me. As I played frisbee with the boys and girls, there was no place I would rather have been than there! It was so obvious that these children did not typically receive this much attention on a regular basis and it was heartbreaking. However, it left me thanking God that Roblealto exists and gives these kids a chance to be loved, cared for, and taught that the origin of this love is God. As we walked from class to class, the older kids would sing us songs about the peace of God and how it helped them to overcome hardships in their life and another class was learning about that story of Moses and the Exodus, and they seemed to be loving it! I walked away from there today knowing that it was a building that was being used to spread the love of God to the hurting and helpless, as I was one of those to whom that love had been spread.

Regresamos

We have returned from our adventure to Arenal to see the volcano and do plenty of other things. We swam at the base of a waterfall and in a hot river, and went on some amazing zip lines. Let me tell you, summer camp zip lines will never be the same. These lines were so long that you would reach ridiculous speeds on them (especially Pete). The longest line was just 50 meters shy of a half mile.

The bus ride back was annoying. We stopped so often to drop off people, it was like we were taking a Chicago CTA bus for 4 hours. I finally created an incredible device that I think I should patten. As many of you know, I fall asleep all of the time. However, this is a pain when you are on a bus that is driving through the mountains and turning all of the time. Therefore, I used my belt and a tshirt to strap my head to the head rest so it would not be whipped back and forth on the turns. Therefore, I got a few good hours of uninterrupted sleep. Take notes fellow travelers! We are off to get some food and play risk with Matt and Jen, who are just awesome people. I will post some pictures in a few days when we get back. Hasta luego!

Muchos Gracias

Well, I guess Costa Rica is just like any other country: there are people who are awesome, and then the other people. The other people took an interest in my backpack while I was sleeping on the bus to Arenal, so I showed up here with only the clothes on my back, and luckily my passport, all of my money, and my wallet. So the guy got some clothes that he probably needed more than I did, a toothbrush which I´m sure he needed more than me, and my $3 backpack.

Today we met the awesome people as we explored Arenal. We had a nice man drive us to our zip line canopy tour who spoke only spanish. I sat up front with him and actually had a really nice conversation, and I was surprised to hear how much spanish I could pull out. Then we went to the rio caliente, that is, the hot river. It was a river that had a decent current and was about 100 degrees. It was awesome. We met some people there and talked to them for a while and found out they were Christians and we just had a great time with them. We will share a bus back to San Jose with them tomorrow, which will be so much fun. God has created so many amazing things, and it has been so cool to experience them here in Costa Rica! I have been pulled out of the slump that I was in, and I´m doing so much better. Thanks for your prayers, and stay awake when on busses in foreign countries, or keep your bag between your legs!