Dry as Dirt...

I'm having a hard time figuring out how to start this. Honestly, I want to figure out a way to spin it without making myself look too bad, but still making myself look transparent. Figure that one out. I think people do that a lot, John Ortberg calls it image control. Anyways, that was random, and not even the start of what's on my mind.

What is appropriate to share on a blog? I guess there are really no rules or anything, only what you're willing to share. Life is rough for me right now. I went from no job to 4 jobs, from spending all day every day with my wife to barely having the energy to talk with her before we fall asleep, from loving God and being excited about His kingdom to...where I am now. Quite honestly, I can't even pray. I just took a walk, which used to be one of my tried and true ways that I could really spend some quality time talking with God. I started a few prayers, but it felt like that phone conversation with somebody who you haven't talked to for a long time, but don't really have all that much of a desire to really talk to. It's horrible, and I hate it! (I'm sure that taking our dog with me on this walk was not beneficial for this end, but I also don't think it really had that much to do with it).

I've been kinda down lately. I have that overwhelming feeling that I am not what I'm supposed to be, and I don't even know what to do with it. Do I drop everything I'm doing? Do I try to rearrange things? Is there a bigger heart issue going on here? I am just...lost. I think it's time for me to go to bed.