Floating

These past days [weeks, months] I feel like life is just floating by. Like I move from one day to the next, barely staying above water, barely able to accomplish this nasty list of "to dos." I say nasty because I didn't make the list or decide what I wanted on it. Instead it's filled with necessities: showers, dinners, homework, sleeping, driving [and more driving] and yet it is vastly void of any passion. Void of anything exciting. Void of me.

I've been slowly trying to escape the list, leaving these necessities undone. I'm seeking myself through silence, reading, praying, thinking, drawing and just being. I've suffocated myself for so long that I find myself still so far away from knowing exactly who or what I am [outside of an exhausted nursing student]. But I'm getting excited. You see, as I chip away at the layers of stuff and I find myself peaking through, I get a little more hopeful. I know I'm under there somewhere, and I feel my life becoming something tangible, something real, something me.