We've spent the past two weeks working with a team that was here from South Dakota, and it was good, and interesting. The first week we spent at a national youth camp for pentecostal churches, and this led me down an interesting road.
Many of you may hear the word pentecostal and think Benny Hinn, or just crazy people. This is often what I thought of. However, this summer we've been working with pentecostal missionaries and churches, and I've gained an entirely different perspective. There was much talk over the last week about the baptism of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues. Now if you were raised in a similar tradition to myself, the baptism of the Holy Spirit is something you would say happens to you at conversion when the Holy Spirit enters your life. However, if you're pentecostal, you would consider it something that happens separately, and it is the point in your life at which the Holy Spirit gives you His power to do ministry. They also claim that this is always initially manifested through speaking in tongues. So I spent hours these past weeks talking with Pentecostal bishops, pastors and missionaries (including my wonderful roommate Sara Tady) about these things and trying to gain a greater understanding.
So here's the catch: the whole speaking in tongues always being the evidence of baptism in the Holy Spirit doesn't seem to fit with what I see in Scripture. But I look back on certain things in my life, and I know I have not experienced God as fully as I ought to, and I know that my ministry lacked something that should have been there. So what is it that I'm missing? Is it the baptism of the Holy Spirit? Is it a more disciplined and surrendered life? I don't know. So it's been a time of theological struggle for me, but I've really enjoyed listening to these men and women of God and hearing about their experience of Him.
After the week of camp, we went and did some work in villages with this same team, which was enjoyable, mostly. I'm realizing that sometimes God uses people in my life to really help me realize my own weaknesses and faults. This is not necessarily by anything wrong that they do, but rather just the way things shake out. I realized that I often do things to receive recognition for doing them. I want people to see my acts of service and recognize them. When they don't I'm a little upset and wounded. So much for that not letting my left hand know what my right hand it doing stuff.
So after these two weeks, I'm confused, disappointed with myself, tired, but really thankful that I got to experience all that I did. I'm coming out of it with a greater passion to know God and be TRANSFORMED in every aspect of my being. If you actually read this far, congratulations, you're either a trooper or a glutton for punishment. Keep praying for me as God is using this summer to challenge and stretch me.
1 comment:
Son, it's in our human nature to enjoy recognition for our deeds, and that's okay :) of course this isn't all good, but it's part of the way that we were wonderfully designed by Him. of course we can't do everything expecting a big pat on the back either. like many other things in life there is a reasonable balance to be found here. now the evidences of the Holy Spirit is a tough thing to fully understand. we all have our own gifts. to say that all
Christians must have the gift of tounges i will never buy into. if you have that gift, great :) if you don't than God didn't see fit to give it to you. perhaps too black and white, but it seems logical and that's what i believe. keep searching for a closer walk with God, but don't question your commitment to Him. Dad
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